I Don't Want to Hold Your Hand

A short list of things I simply don't get about India 

-How an entire country is conservative enough to be shocked by a kiss in a movie, a bare shoulder or the idea of seeing your spouse naked, but public defecation and bathing in the street are perfectly acceptable.  Also, you took the time to build public urinals on the street but then failed to connect them to the sewer system, the result being urine filled gutters.  Is this because of monsoon season, laziness, or is this some bizarre marketing campaign to get me to associate India with the smell of pee. 

-At McDonald's there can be a person designated to getting every part of your meal and there are virtually no customers and yet is still takes longer than any McDonald's I have ever been to anywhere else.  Also, why does it cost fifteen rupees for a side of BBQ sauce?

-The entire country's inability to think outside of the box.  I was at subway and I wanted the baked lays and when I asked the man behind the counter he informed me that it was "not possible" I looked over at the nine bags of baked lays on the wall and turned back perplexed.  I assured him that I was perfectly fine if it was a little more for the baked variety.  I received the same reply, "not possible madam."

-Why anyone would hold the hand of someone they were not dating?  You will never see a married couple display any affection towards one another. However what you will see is grown men walking down the street draped over eachother, holding hands, holding pinkies or eachother's inner thigh when sitting on the subway.  If they were gay, I would get it, but they are not.  I assure you I do not go around holding even my dearest friend's inner thigh. 

-Sometimes when I walk down the street there is an outrageously strong odor  that resembles parmesan cheese.  There is no cheese available in this country that even resembles parmesan. And yet this olfactory sensation is so strong it can make your eyes water.  I wish to always remain oblivious to what creates this smell.