A Love Letter to the Tucker Family

Most people have a core group of friends that are involved in their everyday life.  These are the people we plan movie nights, coffee and lunch dates and share our birthdays with.  These friends are brought into out life through school or work and may fluctuate over the years as people grow and change.  Then there is another level of friendship that has stood the test of time.  These are the people who you may not see everyday but nonetheless you are bonded together by the longevity of kinship and their staked claim in being there for all of your firsts.  If you are luck these friends were there on your first day of school, when you chose your first color elastics for your braces, had your first kiss, had your first car accident and your first heart break.  However, life leads us down our own path which frequently carries us away from these childhood friends.  But those who are most true never move too far away from our thoughts and stay nestled in our hearts.  

Then there is another type of friend.  This is a person who you most certainly must meet as an adult. And you do not have everything in common, but such a deep respect for them that it overrides any petty differences. They are not the type of person who is casually brought into our lives but rather done so with such purpose that surely angels must have been involved.  And regardless of the time and distance between you, the fellowship developed will most certainly never wain.  This type of friend I think is quite rare, and I was lucky to not just find one but a whole family.

Before I ever dreamed of coming to Kolkata I am not even sure if I had exchanged more than a few words with Kate.  I knew her family and her three vivacious talented youngest sisters best.  I think the first conversation we ever actually had I was defending the vegan black bean burgers she had made for her sister Ali's college graduation party.   Friendly acquaintances would be an accurate description of our relationship.  

We sat down last June over coffee in a Dunkin Donuts to have our first talk about Kolkata.  I wanted to know as much as possible about the city and see if this was something I was actually looking to do.  As she delved into her story about why she had gone the first time and what the experience was for her, it was hard to not yearn to go simply because of how passionately she spoke about it.  Her first venture quite simply changed her life and the ripple effect was so great that it resulted in the adoption of two of the boys she had worked with while volunteering at Daya Dan.   I knew immediately that this was something I wanted to try.  When she asked me what I was looking to get out of it, my reply was "an experience".    

We stayed I touch over the next six months while we prepared for our trips.  Josh, her husband was there to answer any questions I had when filling out the forms for my visa.  Every time I would begin to get overwhelmed or nervous about anything Kate was there to just talk to, and I always came away with my nerves feeling quite settled.  I felt that it would be a great security blanket to have them here with me.  Not to mention the fact that they would have their three small children with them, and that would be quite the adventure to witness.  

I must say that I would have never ended up here if it were not for them and I might have never grown to discover the new person that Kolkata has made me.  And for that I owe you this:

Dear Josh, Kate, Ray, Jude and Hosea (Beezer)

I can not possible express to you the overwhelming gratitude that I have for all that you have done for me.  I do not know that I would have ever managed with out you and your guidance.

  I am truly inspired by your commitment here.  From your work with the Missionaries of Charity to Sari Bari (a center that rehabilitates prostitutes teaching them to sew bags and blankets) to the relationships you have with the street people, I am awestruck.  I managed to take myself out of what sometimes feels like the epicenter of narcissism to a place where everyday is filled with honest hard work to help others.

  Josh, rumor had it that you were a "rock star" over here.  I didn't quite know what that meant before my arrival but now I do.  Watching you interact with the locals and speak bengali was quite impressive.  Not to mention all of the stories you had to share about your time here.   And learning the story of your path to Kolkata just adds to my respect for you.  Thanks for checking on me when I was sick and getting me medication.  And thank you for helping me negotiate the food.

  I admire your courage to carry the lessons that you have learned through to your children from the get go.  Kate, you once said to me that you want your children to be more than just good at their profession but "good citizens of the world" and I have such faith that your boys will be.  The choice to bring your family here raised many eyebrows (including your own on some days) but after watching your boys learn to handle the streets of Kolkata, I feel you made the right choice. It was a joy to watch Ray befriend anyone and everyone from the people at your hotel to the waiters at Blue Sky to the street children, I know that the lessons you want him to learn were not lost on his young mind.  Often the things we learn when we are young still hold true into our adulthood.  Which explains why when my mother uses my full name and says "I need to talk to you" to this day I wrack my brain to think of what I could have done to be in trouble.  Even if many years pass before you are able to return here as a family, I think that your time here will resonate quite strongly.  I consider it a great privilege that I got to spend this time getting to know all of you.

  I shan't gush too much longer, or this will just get embarrassing for everyone.  So, thanks.  And I look forward to getting some Mexican food and margaritas with you when I get back.  Josh, we can compare fruit ninja scores then.

Until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand.